Love: it’s more than donuts and bacon, although – in my experience – those tend to play a role in every successful marriage. Love is putting the other person first. That’s what God did when he sent His only son to die for our sins and grant us grace-filled eternal life. It’s such a radical thing to say. But if you look into it and believe it, you can bet your life on it. God possesses the greatest love possible. Period. God IS love. One day when Christ returns and the new heavens and new earth are created “all sad things will be untrue.” I don’t remember who said that, but I love it. I cradle that thought more carefully than I do the last crumb of donut.
I felt like I should do an update, so what better time than Valentine’s Day? January came and went – hard. We embraced, honored and cried through Gabriel’s first anniversary in heaven, his birthday, his Glory Day on Jan. 25, a Sunday. It was so hard. Harder than I had imagined it would be. But we were dearly loved that day too. A friend brought us a good pound of bacon and homemade pimento cheese. Kevin and I visited Gabriel’s grave to see that he has a new “neighbor” – so new that the bunny placed atop the tiny rectangle of fresh dirt hadn’t been rained on yet, and it was definitely going to rain that dreary day. We went to church. I did the ugly cry during the sermon and left before Sunday school class. Two Spirit-filled friends caught up with me when I tried to sneak out during the final hymn. Two hugs later, I was better although far from composed. Hugs mean so much. I’ve said it a thousand times, but words aren’t important – making the effort to be present with someone is. The people who remembered that day and weekend mean everything to us.
We are less than 12 weeks from our due date with Baby Girl Holt. My nesting is in full flutter. I’m not used to my healthily expanding belly and keep running into things. Sometimes it looks more like leaning into things, really, things like doors, because my balance is a little off. I’m now the person that gets a polite tap on the shoulder at parties when people want to pass a narrow space that I’m unaware I’m blocking. It used to be people would squeeze by or I’d instinctively move out of the way. Now I am a construction zone, and people slow down and proceed with caution.
I’m happy; I’m sad. I miss Gabriel. I cherish the current health of our baby girl. Kevin is wonderful. He cooks a lot more, and I eat a lot more. Everything is working. Every part of me is clinging to the gospel truth especially when I get afraid. Happy Valentine’s Day to everyone – not because we love each other – or the one you’re with – but because He loved us first, best, and always. Thank you, Lord, for loving us enough to give us your Word, your Son, and hope. Precious things are these.
------------------------------------------------------------------
Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. – 1 John 4:7-10
No comments:
Post a Comment